so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
