This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
