Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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