But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
