This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
