I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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