do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
