Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
