u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
