dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
