he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
