Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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