Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
