im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
