If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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