i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
