Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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