seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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