u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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