my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
