Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
