6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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