I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
