My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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