So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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