You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
