There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
