Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
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