I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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