thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
