we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
