So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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