I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
