I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
