My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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