GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Found your dick twin last night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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