areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I party with great urgency now.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
