Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
