my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
