Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
