I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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