Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
