Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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