Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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