We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Barsexuality is the new black.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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