so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
