Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
