I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
