Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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