This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
