I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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