did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize