He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I will be naked everywhere
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
