It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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