Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
