they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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