she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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