idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
