Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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