i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
