sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize